Semi-retirement: The Untold Story

Even though you know it is coming, because the calendar counts down the days for you, like it or not, when you are in a relationship, the idea that you could be spending ever day with your partner is, to say the least, a defining moment in ones life.

What I had not expected was the constant mirroring of our egos. Fearful of the illusion of losing control over our daily choices and actions, the first part of the last six months has primarily been about negotiating our respective space. At least for me it has been about setting boundaries, while for him, it has been about removing the apparent obstacles to his constant need to be heard, respected and appreciated. 

That said, please keep in mind, this is a very one-sided post. I asked a few of my girlfriends and their partners to share with me some of their own experiences. They were very similar to mine. When one reaches the fifties or sixties, the couple relationship falls out of the quiet truce into a virtual house of mirrors. One walks forward and then suddenly the path is blocked by the mirroring of the other. This opportunity for reflection is both very useful and annoying.

You feel like the calm before the storm and back to the calm. The only constant is this feeling of walking on egg shells, not sure when the next step will crack open a fissure. It is fascinating to observe, because it is an intense microcosm of the human experience with the energetic exchange defining its quality moment to moment. It is very much like a dance and duel combined. 

Not unlike our individual thoughts, our primary relationship, in the latter part of our life, points towards the aspects of ourselves which require both understanding and release.